A Coda for Coda
by KJaneway115
Summary: Directly following the episode Coda, what did happen during Janeway and Chakotay's moonlight sail on Lake George?


A CODA FOR CODA

"Computer, run program Lake George-Janeway," the Captain ordered, standing outside the holodeck. She had changed from her uniform into a loose-fitting, white dress and sandals. Chakotay had returned to his quarters to change out of uniform as well, and she wanted to start the program before he returned. The computer beeped an affirmative that her program had started.

Kathryn Janeway entered the holodeck and surveyed the scene before her. The sun would begin to set soon. The weather was warm, but once they got out on the lake, there would be a pleasant breeze. She could always adjust the temperature later if it was too hot or too cold. Before her was a dock overlooking Lake George; a place where she had come often in her youth. Tied to the dock was a beautiful sail boat. She walked down the dock and stepped onto the boat. There was a small table and two chairs on the deck of the boat, and she placed the bottle of champagne she had brought on the table. "Computer," she ordered, "create a platter of fruit and cheese."

"Please specify," the computer replied.

"Brie - a triple creme, strawberries and grapes." She paused and added, "And a basket of bread and butter." The food materialized on the table before her. She surveyed the setting once again and nodded approval to herself. She walked out to the bow of the boat and looked out over the water. The breeze gently blew her hair away from her face. She had left it down this evening. She folded her arms in front of her body, combating the chill she suddenly felt. She was not sure if it was the wind, or the nagging memory of the alien that had tried to take her with him to his matrix.

This was a rare luxury, one which she did not allow herself often. The time on the holodeck in this gorgeous setting was extravagant enough, but to have invited her first officer to share it with her... that was an indulgence. Over the years, Chakotay had occasionally initiated time together that went beyond their work, or that went beyond mere friendship. And, of course, there had been their time together on New Earth. But they never spoke of that. She herself had never initiated such a meeting until tonight.

It had been an impulsive move, to invite him for champagne and a moonlight sail. But if there was one thing she had learned from her recent experience, it was that death could come at any moment. Could she afford to wait any longer to reciprocate Chakotay's gestures? She knew they could never have a relationship beyond friends, at least not on Voyager, but at the same time, she could not deny the bond they shared. He had made his feelings clear. Was it fair of her to wait to do the same? She had seen his reaction when he thought she was dead... Although she now realized that was a hallucination created by her alien intruder, it still seemed real to her, and she could not eradicate from her mind the picture of his face as he held her lifeless body, sobbing. She shivered again, but this time, she knew it was not from the breeze.

At that moment, she heard the doors to the holodeck open, and she whirled around to see her first officer enter, wearing grey slacks and a white cotton shirt. She smiled like a little girl and hopped back onto the dock to meet him. "Chakotay!" she exclaimed.

He walked up to meet her, smiling easily. She noticed that one hand was hidden behind his back. "This is beautiful," he said.

She nodded. "I know. I used to come here." She glanced at him suspiciously. "What are you hiding?" she asked.

He looked a little sheepish as he proffered a bouquet of pink roses, like the one he had brought her earlier.

"Chakotay, you didn't have to do that," she said.

"I had them earlier," he admitted, "but I thought that walking through the bridge with a dozen roses would be a bit conspicuous."

She laughed. "Come see our ship for the evening," she said, walking onto the dock and motioning for him to follow her. He did, still holding the roses. She easily leapt from the dock to the boat, and he followed her a bit more clumsily, awkwardly using his arms to maintain his balance. By the time he made it over to the boat, Kathryn had disappeared below decks somewhere.

"Kathryn?" he called. For a moment he received no reply, but then she reappeared through the hatch.

"I was looking for this," she said, holding up a vase. "I thought there was one down in the galley." She leaned over the side of the boat to fill it with water.

"Don't fall in," he warned.

She came up, laughing again. He couldn't remember having ever seen her this at ease with herself and with him. The vase was now half full of water, and she placed it on the table beside the champagne and a very nice looking fruit and cheese plate. She extended her hand and Chakotay handed her the flowers, which she placed in the vase. She took a moment to admire them. "They're beautiful, Chakotay. Thank you."

"Beautiful for a beautiful woman," he said softly. He did not know what had made him bold enough to say it.

He saw her cheeks redden, but she did not reply or throw him out. She let the moment pass, and said instead, "Chakotay, have you ever maneuvered a sail boat before?"

"I can't say that I have," he replied.

"That's all right," she said, "tonight should be smooth sailing."

He raised an eyebrow, wondering if she intended a double meaning. "I hope so," he replied cautiously.

But she seemed impervious to any suggestion of a deeper meaning to her words. She was immersed in loosing the boat from the dock and letting out the sails. As she expertly controlled the rigging, the boat began to move away from the dock, out onto the middle of the lake.

"I didn't know sailing was a hobby of yours," Chakotay said.

"I've always enjoyed it," Kathryn replied. "These were the first kinds of ships I learned how to command."

Chakotay stood back and watched her expert hands, arms and eyes control their course. He felt the breeze pick up around them, and felt the boat begin to move faster under them. In no time at all, they were clipping along at a good pace. All around them, he could see the peaks of the Adirondacks. On one shore, he could see the small houses that made up a town. He had never been to Lake George on Earth. It was beautiful. His eyes moved back to Kathryn Janeway; to her dress being blown around her legs by the wind, her eyes squinting in the sunlight to see their direction, her hands moving over the rigging. She did not seem to notice his glance. He turned back to the bow of the boat, watching the water move underneath them, closing his eyes as his face met the oncoming winds. He felt the simple joy and freedom of motion guided by clarity and expertise. He felt a hand on his arm and opened his eyes to find Kathryn Janeway standing beside him. She slipped her hand into the crook of his arm.

"It's a good feeling, isn't it?" she asked. He nodded. She felt the same way that he did. No other words were necessary. They stood there for a minute, until Janeway went back to her piloting. It wasn't long before she took the sails in and let them drift. He turned his attention to the sunset. The sky was turning all shades of purple, pink and gold as the sun set over the lake. It was a breathtaking sight.

"Join me for some champagne?" she asked.

He turned and walked over to the table where she stood. "That's an offer I can't refuse," he replied. He took the bottle out of her hands and opened it. The cork popped with a satisfying sound. "This isn't synthehol," he observed.

"No," she said, "it's the real deal. I've been saving it for a special occasion."

"Well, I guess beating death qualifies." He poured the champagne into two flutes that stood on the table, and handed her a glass. He put the bottle down and raised his glass to her. "To being alive," he said.

"To being alive," she echoed. They touched their glasses with a soft clink and drank a sip of champagne. Kathryn felt the sensation of the bubbles in her mouth and down her throat. She tasted the flavor of the wine; it was excellent. She closed her eyes for a moment, savoring it.

"A penny for your thoughts," Chakotay probed quietly.

She nodded and gestured to the table. "Please," she said, "sit down." They each sat in a chair and began to munch on the fruit, cheese and bread before them. After a few moments of silence, she spoke. "That alien made me realize one thing," she said.

"What's that?"

"I don't take enough time for celebrations like this." She looked at him. "Or for friends."

"Don't be too hard on yourself," he admonished. "You manage to keep a pretty busy social calendar while being the Delta Quadrant's only Starfleet ambassador."

She chuckled. She had never quite thought of it that way. "I know that everything I experienced was just a hallucination created by the alien," she said, "but it felt so real."

"And now you can't convince yourself it wasn't?" he asked.

She nodded. "It's hard to. I feel as though I really saw and experienced all of those things. I was a witness to my own funeral, Chakotay. I stood there and watched as I died in your arms."

This admission took him aback. "I have to admit, you gave me a good scare when we crashed on that planet," he said. "I can't remember the last time I've actually had to use my CPR."

"Well, you obviously remembered well enough."

He paused. "Did I speak at your funeral?" he asked, unable to still his curiosity.

"No," she said quietly. "B'Elanna did, and Harry. You were stoic. I think you were being the captain - strong and unreachable."

"That's probably accurate," he admitted. "I wouldn't speak in front of the crew in a situation like that. I wouldn't be able to hide my emotions. When I was alone, though..." He trailed off. He did not want to think about this. It didn't matter now. She was safe. But from the moment they had crashed on that planet, he had thought about it. What if she really had died?

Kathryn put down her champagne glass and reached across the table to take Chakotay's hand. "I didn't die, Chakotay. I'm right here."

Her words and her touch brought him back to the present moment. He looked at her, searching deeply within her eyes. She looked back, unafraid. They did not let go of each other's hands. The sun had set and the sky had begun to turn dark. Chakotay looked up and saw the first few stars emerging.

He thought of the question he had wanted to ask her when he was back in his quarters, changing his clothes for this very evening. "Kathryn," he began hesitantly.

"What is it?"

"What made you decide to do this now?"

She knew what he meant, but she didn't answer him right away. He wondered if he should have left the question unasked. "I thought that I had died, Chakotay," she finally answered. "I thought that all my opportunities to have a night like this were over. And when I experienced that, I realized that I regretted it. You've always been very clear about..." She paused, unsure of the right words. "About your feelings," she finally concluded. "I can't give you that clarity. Not now, maybe not ever. But what I have given you... is nothing. And that's not fair."

He turned towards her and took both of her hands in his, looking at her earnestly across the table. "Kathryn," he said, "I hope you know that nothing I've ever said or done has been because I expected something from you in return."

"I know that. I wanted to share this celebration with you. To allow myself one respite from the standards and the rules that I have to uphold every day. I can't promise you any more than that, but just for this one night, I want to share that with you."

"I understand," he said softly. Only he could know what a rare gift she was offering.

They watched the stars come out, pointing at constellations that they recognized. Janeway was impressed with Chakotay's knowledge of the stars. He explained that it had been one of the things his father had forced him to learn. As a child, he had hated it, along with the other aspects of his Native culture, but now, it was a comfort to him. They had long since left the table and finished the champagne. They were standing at the bow of the boat, pointing at stars. They could see so many here, from the center of the water. There were no artificial lights to drown them out.

The air grew colder and Kathryn shivered. She let Chakotay stand behind her and wrap his strong arms around her as he continued to name the stars and the constellations that they could see. She inhaled his musky scent and let herself relax into his arms, for once allowing someone else to be strong for her.

They stayed out late into the night, enjoying each other's company, talking of the stars, of their childhoods, of their life on Voyager. Eventually it was time to bring the boat in; no night could last forever, and they both knew it. Chakotay helped Kathryn bring the boat back into shore and tie it to the dock. He stepped out onto the dock first, and took her hand to help her out of the boat. They stood, reluctantly, facing each other, knowing that the magical moments they had shared were soon to be nothing but a quiet memory.

For once, Chakotay did not fight his instincts or worry about what was proper. He pulled her into a tight embrace, and felt her arms encircle him as well. He stroked her hair, taking in the smell of her. He pressed his lips to the top of her head. He wished that he could protect her from all the aliens, all the hardship, all the hostile species. He wished that the strength of his embrace could protect her from all that, but he knew that it couldn't.

She pulled away from the embrace first, and he let her. They stood there, her looking up at him silently, trusting. His hands remained on her arms, and hers on his elbows. He leaned towards her very slowly, giving her time and space to back away. She didn't. Very softly, and very gently, he touched his lips to hers. It was a brief kiss, but he could still feel his heart pounding in his chest. He was almost afraid to open his eyes and see what her reaction might be. But he did. She was smiling, a soft, melancholy smile. He knew the meaning of that smile, and he let his arms drop away from her body.

"Thank you," she said softly. "Goodnight, Chakotay." Then, she turned and exited the holodeck, leaving him alone in the Lake George night.


End file.
